lost_tragedyx on Xanga

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Monday, 08 December 2008

i miss xanga...

Saturday, 03 May 2008

words unspoken..

-i hope you're okay. i'm sorry for not being around as often as i would like to be. there's so much more i wish i could do, but i don't know what to say to help you.

-why are you so frickin' ::mutters:: rawr.

-i really wish there were some way i could convince you to stop putting yourself down and have some confidence.

-ah. i miss you. we need to catch up. seriously.

-some say that i've lost my childhood because of what you put me through, but i don't regret it for a minute. know that i pray for you every night. i'm proud of how far you've come.

-thank you so much for putting up with my shit.

-do you even realize the words that are coming out of your mouth sometimes...?

-i'm sorry... i love you. even though i don't show it, i hope you know that.

-honestly, i don't know what i would do without you. i am dreading next year when you leave me.
don't leave :(

-you're the bestttttttttttt. thank you thank you thank you.

-i miss the old you. you seem to have changed so much while i'm just stuck motionless.. reminiscing on the past years of our lives.

-i don't opt to not tell you things because i don't trust you, but because i don't want you to feel what i'm feeling.

-i am so grateful that i have gotten to know you. thanks for the endless amount of times that you have "saved" me. thanks for never turning your back on me. thanks for just being there.

-i really do not care how hot that girl is.

-an apology is not enough to compensate for your loss. but i hope you realize how many people you have touched in your lifetime, or even this year alone.

-i have lost so much respect for you.

-you always have my back. that's awesome. you bring me so much entertainment x] thanks for making my day a bit more enjoyable.

-how could you even THINK that?!? you have no premises for arriving at that conclusion. i would frickin' smack the hell out of you if i didn't have any self control.

-you are moodier than most girls. just pick an emotion and stay with it. don't be so pissy...

-oh man. you are so funny. and you've helped me out so much in the past two years. i definitely would've died if you weren't there to give me some sense of motivation.

-no, i will not go out with you. stop saying it. i know it's a joke. but you're creeping me out. just a tad.

-you confuse me.

-holy crap. you are LOUD.

note to self: work on time management...

Sunday, 20 April 2008

home, sweet home?

ahhhh. i miss boston :( i love being with my cousins. feels like every day is just plain and simple. it's a good feeling plus, the weather there is amazing, and the trains are so easy to use! lolol. oh man. it's madd easy to get around there. hopefully i go there again this summer.
but i can't say i didn't miss my friends here as well... i feel bad that i missed so much. i really didn't think people would miss me that much, even after one day xD i really appreciated that phone call. completely did not expect it. thanks guys :]<33

Tufts was really nice. we had a great tour guide. beautiful campus. there's small class sizes (avg of 12. student to faculty ratio is 8:1) which is preferable for me. teachers really make an effort to know their students. (one teacher took a picture of each of his students, and memorized all of their names by the end of the first day o_O) flexibility btwn switching majors/schools. it's close enough to the city to get that urban feel, but far enough to feel at peace. and there's old style buildings. it's a medium sized campus. it felt like everyone knew each other. the only problem was, it was EXTREMELY hilly TT__________________TT ahah. oh wells. the big plus for me... the food was REALLLY good for school food xDD

so my brother has officially decided to go to NYU.
which means i will probably be going there also... so much for "go to whatever school you like" right? but, who knows? i have yet to visit it. i'll probably like it there also...

updated college list:
Tufts, Boston University, NYU, Columbia, St.John's
possibly Brown.

my brother told me to apply to some crappy schools, so i'd receive a lot of money. then write to a school that i actually want to go to and complain.. ie. "Since The University of Miami gave me a full scholarship, I was hoping that you could give me a bit more to alleviate my parents' financial stress." LOL. apparently it works..

report card time:

AP Language/Comp: 97
Spanish IV: 98
AP US History: 97
Physics ACL: 96
Gym: Pass
SUNY Precalc: 97
Drawing&Painting: 100
Orchestra: 100

Quarter 3 Avg: 97.86

my average is exactly the same as last quarter. what's even more freaky... i've had a 97 average for the past three years that i've been in high school.... o_O although technically this would round up to a 98 c[:

Sunday, 23 March 2008

long time...

since i've written in here.
i've been telling myself to update. but i guess i never got to it eh? ^^;; kekee..

hmm so to clue you in on my life at the moment. i have just realized that there are less than TWO weeks before all state.
that's always fun. surprisingly, i don't feel that nervous... i'm not sure if that means i've stopped caring or if i have too many things happening to even acknowledge reality. this year is progressing abnormally fast.
i've started self-training myself for the SAT's. then i realized there's less than two months before i take that as well.
lesson number one: do NOT take these tests when you're hungry. especially for me. a big no-no.
i've only taken verbal practices so far. but i am happy to say, that i haven't gotten that much worse. same problems as always. i need to work on pacing, so as to minimize my careless errors. and y'know stop second guessing myself.
i just keep telling myself things i want to hear. go self-prophecies! woo~! xDD

i'm thinking of applying for a summer program at NYU. the only problems are....
1) they haven't mailed me the application forms yet which are due april 15th.. even though i mailed them about it AND submitted a request online.
2) it's from june 30th to august 8th. looooong time>>>less time to do summer homework/college visits/applications/whatever else. and my family is going on a cruise from july 11th to... who knows when?
3) there's no summer residence. meaning i have to commute. given that i am accepted, this will be a problem. since i can't exactly walk to the train station and as mentioned earlier... my family will be gone.
plus... i would be "forbidden" to have a job for the duration of the program = julia goes broke. lovely.

there's more. but. my internet's shutting down soon.
good night xanga. (cough eunice) puahahaha :]

[[03.24.08]]

i still have all TEN hours of community service to do by april 7th. yay!
running to gardiners after badminton practice and faking times?
sounds good x]

yeaaaaa... i am totally supposed to be writing my english essay right now.

Wednesday, 20 February 2008

you always want what you can't have.

all state is in... a month and a half o_O
i'm supposed to know my whole piece already...
this can't be good.

everyone's talking about junior banquet... i didn't think it wuz that important...
oh well, i have a date though. so i'm fine.
just that one thing is bothering me so much... what to do..

i'm drifting away from people.. i feel like i've lost my best friends...

there's so much fucking work to be done this vacation. eunice, i'm really turning into a bitchy stressed out girl also. i hate myself sometimes... rawr. not really lol.
but, i know that you control how you are. and i feel like i don't realize what i do (hit someone, say something mean, etc.) until much later. weird much? i think so. my negative qualities are becoming stronger =/ don't like it. at all.

so. i need to be... less lazy, less proud, less jealous, less cocky.
more positive, more happy, more productive...

i've got my work cut out for me...
good luck julia!

soo... how are you? has drama driven you insane yet?